Susan Dennis (susandennis) wrote,
Susan Dennis

I am an idiot, anyone need celery and thoughts

The email said my appointment was at 10:20 and to arrive a few minutes early. I got there at 10:15. At 10:20 I knocked on the door. No answer. I called. Voicemail. I read the email again all the way to the end where it said 'See you Saturday!' Fuck. Only 24 hours late. I sat in the car and wrote an apology email about how embarrassed I was.

And then made my way leisurely to the grocery store.

Seattle is really so pretty. Today it is bright and cool and covered by the fluffiest clouds in the bluest sky. If I were visiting here today, my overwhelming thought would be 'how in the world can I arrange my life so I can live here.'

Other thoughts. I'm ok with missing the fabric sale. I don't need fabrics. And I'm not sure I'm ready for the risk.

If I get Covid-19, I will die. My lungs now only operate at 60% of capacity for someone my age and size. And I refused to be intubated. So buh bye.

So, what risks would be worth it? If I got it and died, what would I think back and say, well, that was stupid? Or worth it.

I have at least one LJ friend who quarantines packages she receives for 3 days. I'm not doing that and don't plan to. But other things? I've got no interest in living forever. I've had a great life and I'm not freaked out by the idea of dying. Each risk carries it's own vote.

Swimming. If there was a pool open, I'd go in a heartbeat without thinking twice. I'm perfectly fine dying from swimming. Buying fabric I don't need? Getting the house cleaned (and letting Amira actually work - I'm paying her but I do feel guilty)? I don't know yet. Maybe soon. Maybe not. As long as I can order on line and pick up groceries, I got no reason to go to a store. For now, I'm happy at home. Living one risk at a time.

I have groceries now. I wanted a couple of stalks of celery. I have a couple of dozen. Holy crap. Small price to pay for the convenience and safety of online ordering. But holy moly. Maybe some macaroni salad. Maybe some potato salad. Maybe some chicken salad. Celery soup? no.

And, finally, another Sunday paper. The tree type. I'd forgotten. But it was there when I went out for my walk. I thoroughly enjoyed reading all of it this morning. So much so that I might just have to keep this subscription after the special ends. At least for a little bit.

Oh Wait! One more thing. While I was waiting for my groceries to come out of the store, I saw a guy - older guy - ride down the block and into the store on this:

It looked very cool and fun to ride. Google led me right to the web page of the The Alinker Walking Bike. Pricey devil and it looks very tedious to break down for storage but also very fun.

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