So... turns out I learned a couple of things... The instructions said to put vaseline all around your hairline. There were no instructions on how to get that shit off. ugh.
Turns out, also, dying your hair seems to highlight the fact that you have not been to a professional stylist in more than a year. And, not in a good way.
But, done. And now I'm ready. I have reason to believe that the cats are planning a surprise birthday party for me tomorrow. I'm trying to figure out what to wear to go with green hair. Typical 71st birthday problems, right?