Susan Dennis (susandennis) wrote,
Susan Dennis
susandennis

The comfort of no choice

When I was really young I read a novel about a nun. I grew up in the very protestant South so nuns were a mystery to me and I was fascinated by this story. My take away was that nuns had a life where there were no hard decisions. No way to go wrong. You wore the same thing every day - same as everyone else. You did the same things every day - same as everyone else. You didn't have to think, you only had to do. This seemed a nice life alternative to my young mind.

I actually knew then and, of course, know now, that I'd last about 3 solid minutes in that environment. Wearing black every day?

But, now I'm taking that same kind of comfort from today's situation. In retirement, I chose what I want and need to do every day so I'm constantly faced with decisions. Should I go do this? Or that? I really should go get this done. Or that.

No more. I wake up in the mornings and know with certainty that I'm not going anywhere. I'm not going to see anyone. I don't even have to get out of bed or get dressed or do anything. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not the next day.

Down the road, it will likely become it's own burden. But, now, it's actually pretty comforting. And I'm actually enjoying the freedom of it. Weird. But, true.

Today will be TV and knitting and maybe laundry. I did notice that the sewing room needed some tidying so maybe that. It's very possible that I'll walk on the treadmill.

The Smalls will nap and then move to another nap place and resume then eat. Biggie will watch for birds and troll around looking for stuff he shouldn't eat and then remember the banana and then nap. Same as yesterday.

We're cool. We're fine.
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