Susan Dennis (susandennis) wrote,
Susan Dennis

So much better

Yesterday was miserable. I felt like crap all day. And not the kind of crap you could fix by just going to bed. It was weird and miserable. Even sitting still, my breathing was shallow and more panting than breathing and I think, that, alone, just made me feel like crap.

I did not have any trouble sleeping. I had this one hilarious dream about Jesse Tyler Ferguson. I could not remember his name. I kept thinking that it was Neal Patrick Harris and knowing it wasn't. This went on for a long time. I think it's a clear indication of a massive amount of dead brain cells.

I did not even try to go swimming. I woke up about 4:45 and went back to sleep. My regular pool is probably fine now. I probably could have done my swim without issue but really there is no reason to push it. Tonight I have a ticket to the Mariners game so I'll be out late and so will sleep in tomorrow, too.

I feel compelled to swim ever day but why? Would it be so bad if I only went 4 or 5 days a week? I swim because I love it but I also swim because it's the only exercise I have the patience for. If I learned that I only had one week to live, I'd still go swimming at least a couple of times and maybe more during that week. This is a conversation/debate I have with myself once in a while. I never get real resolution.

It's part of the cost of living alone without a lot of people you see face to face often. You get into this bubble of yourself with no critical feedback. LJ gives me some but mostly I just debate with myself and/or remain oblivious to the obvious.

My mother, once, when we were discussing the merits of staying single, pointed out that if I did not marry or live with someone "You'd never have anyone, as you go out the door, tell you your slip is showing."

There are way many more magical, wonderful, freeing things about living alone than there are downsides but not having a metaphorical slip checker is a big one on the con side.

Wow. That was a side track.

And I just interrupted this entry to get more coffee and do a couple of more things and totally ran out of breath so maybe swimming would not have been fun. I think today I'll just hang and do not much. I don't have anything that I have to do so it will be fine. I have the last two episodes of Unforgotten to watch and then several other series to tackle while I crochet.

I won't leave for the ballpark until 5. The game weather appears to be perfect. The shade hits my seat before the gates even open tonight and it will not be crowded at all. A Tuesday night ... we're the worst team on record and we're playing the best. Ha. Not even a contest. But, in my case, great food and just a lovely evening.

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