I'm afraid that I have started a free fall into a hole that I will not be able to climb out of. Someone on instagram showed a photo of a Christmas present - Miniature House Kit. I did not even know these things existed. They not only exist, they are not exorbitant and there are a ton of them.
This is the one I ordered - aka the first hit on the crack pipe.
It will arrive tonight. So there are still several hours left of my Life Before.