Susan Dennis (susandennis) wrote,
Susan Dennis

Romantic Relationships Part III

I had a very good long time friend who was working at the Charlotte Observer. She had a new friend she was crazy about - Bob Dennis. She thought we'd be perfect together. I was living about 2 hours from Charlotte at the time so we dated back and forth for a while. He was nice and very interesting and interested and fun to be around. My friends liked him. Holly thought he was amazing. His friends were fun. The driving back and forth got old. I suggested I move to Charlotte and we live together. He said he could never do that while his parents were alive.

Did I mention he was 21 years older than I was? And his parents lived in upstate New York and never ever traveled? And he had 5 kids? But, it was his parents who were the show stopper on the living together. Shudda been a sign, you say? One of many many many. He suggested that instead of living together, we get married. I said ok. It was just that passionate. And thought through. And doomed from the get go.

His kids were 14-27. (I was 31.) 3 boys and the two oldest were girls. The youngest thought I was a kick. The two girls thought I'd stolen their father from their mother (from whom he had been divorced for a decade). It was one big happy family. Actually the boys lived with us on and off. And while they were not so much a big deal, decisions that Bob would make or not make 'because of the children' were a problem. One of many. He wanted a wife - someone who would cook his pork chops and peas and potatoes that he wanted every single night for dinner. Someone to clean and keep house. I actually wanted that, too.

We were both adults and had lived on our own for a while and knew the best way to do things and our ways were very different. When we didn't clash, we didn't connect either. He was a lot nicer than I was/am. Not as nice as this piece his friend wrote in the Observer when he died a few years ago made him sound but nice enough.
His obit has his details.

We carried on our mostly separate lives for 2 years and a couple of months. I felt like I had made my bed and was stuck in it forever. Until New Years Day when we came home from a party and were getting ready to watch the news on TV and he said "Probably we should just give up, don't ya think?" I heard the bells of freedom.

I wallowed in my singleness for several glorious years. I had only gay friends. I worked hard. I got my tubes tied (in case singleness ever wore off).

And then I started what would be a 5 year affair with a guy who, for some of that time, was married. Not my finest hour. But, then -foreshadowing - none of my romantic relationships turned out to be my finest hour.

To Be Continued
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