Sometimes the most innocent question really resonates with me and this one is still reverberating.
I not only spent my life being productive - at work, at home - but taking great pride in just that. I've always felt almost defined by what I produced. When I retired, I turned that hose on other things. Sewing, knitting, swimming. I often feel lazy. Give me a remote, do not make me get up and do something, but, in truth, I really am not.
I've never been one to sleep in. Closest I come is maybe sleeping til 6 on weekends. I get up and go swim and then my day starts. So doing nothing gets short circuited right there.
This morning I went swimming and then went to the eye doctor and then came home and did not feel like doing anything. Nothing. So... I didn't. It was a funky realization that I didn't have to do anything if I didn't want to. I could fuck off all morning or all day if I waned so I did. I interneted some and just sat some and finally got back into bed and slept.
It's now 1:30 and the baseball game starts at 5 and I may go sew something. Or just organize the sewing room or maybe just piddle around some and then watch some TV.
I've never before appreciated the value of wasting time. I think it's what retired people are supposed to do and I just didn't get the memo. I got it now. I probably won't do it much but baby steps.