Susan Dennis (susandennis) wrote,
Susan Dennis

Continued - The End-ish

When I was little, I thought that growing up meant kids and housework. I was not interested. When I was in college, I thought the world was coming to an end brought down by adults shooting Kennedys and civil rights organizers, not to mention the Vietnamese war, and I really wanted no part of it. I figured, I'd hang out until I was 27 and then end it all. (Really, I really did think this.)

But, in spite of myself I kept going and going and going and here at 68 years old, I seem to be pretty much fine and dandy. I know the end must be in sight and I'm fine with that, I just don't look for it.

I've had a very blessed and lucky life. I learned early on to evaluate for The Worst That Can Happen and make sure I can handle that worst and then go for it. That proved valuable over and over again.

I have not been a good friend or a kind person. I have tried but failed over and over again. Part of this is because I am such lovely company for myself and am not that good at sharing. And part of it is just an unaccountable personality defect. I wish I was different and there are many many things I wish I had done differently.

But, these days, I kind of live a what's done is done life. I do try hard to find an enjoy things in the moment and I have lots of those moments.

Writing all this down has been fascinating to me. It has reminded me over and over again what a wonderful 68 years I have had. And that's icing on the cake. I do love cake.

Any questions? Seriously, I'm happy to answer any questions any time.

I compiled all of these entries in chronological order (with an index!)

PDF Version

Google Docs version
Tags: tbc
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