Susan Dennis (susandennis) wrote,
Susan Dennis
susandennis

Thursday

I have been retired now exactly 2 years. Retirement was not my idea although it had been in the back of my mind for several years. When my investments grew to where I could live off the proceeds, I started thinking about it. When I got laid off and no other job landed in my lap, it turned kind of ipso facto.

I still do think about going to back to work. I look at job postings. I consider sending in my resume which is still up to date. But haven't, for lots of reasons.  I've considered volunteering here and there and decided against it for lots of reasons.

I'm not sure I'm 100% trained in retirement. My house is clean and tidy. I have one closet that still needs a good day's work done to it but I even the junk drawer in the kitchen is neat and organized. When the laundry basket gets full or kind of full, I do a load. When the load comes out the dryer, it gets folded and put away immediately. I do not put stuff off. I just do it as soon as it occurs to me it needs to be done.

I have many many hours that are totally free and clear with nothing planned, nothing to do. I'm reading way more than before - both words and audio. I watch maybe a little more TV. Since my job was working on the internet, the time I spend there now is about the same but very different in tenor. I have no desire to travel anywhere. Maybe down to Portland or up to Vancouver for a night or two but that's really it.

But I struggle with the basic how to's.  It amuses me how I search for retirement role models. What do other retired people do with their time/their lives - any hints or clues there for how I could do it better? What's better? Am I still working towards a performance review? How the fuck gives performance reviews to retired people anyway??

My entire working life, I never joined the 'when I retire I will do xxx' chorus. I did not have a plan, I never even gave it a thought. So now I have nothing to fall back on. Nothing to finally devote myself to or even to finally try and reject.

I got a flyer the other day in the mail for Community College Passion Classes. I wasn't interested in the art classes or the dancing classes or the photography classes but then I hit a section on retirement classes!! Except, they were all about learning how to manage your finances for retirement.

I do so appreciate that I don't have to worry about the finances. I don't have billionaire cash for willy nilly spending, but I have plenty to keep me in comfort and support my tech gadget addiction. And I'm not touching the principle so presumably, I'll continue to have that 'plenty' for the rest of my life. And, for that, I am exceedingly grateful.

And I'm grateful for a beautiful home and I really am grateful for the freedom of time. I'm grateful for swimming and having such great swimming options.

It does get easier and I get more comfortable but I also think in the back of my mind that after 2 years, I should not have to spend so much time and energy stressing over whether I'm doing it right!
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