Today I was slapped in the face with what I cannot do. When the panting subsides, I just feel sick. Not quite nauseous, but not quite not. Really just almost flu like. Not light headed but not quite not. Once I sit and rest, I feel better but unless my down time is 30 minutes or more, the respite is very temporary. Today I didn't stop when I should have and learned not to do that any more.
But, now that I'm recovered. I'm so grateful that I can do what I can do. I can swim. Thankgod. I can live without bottled oxygen. I can, if I plan and pace, do fine. Running errands in the car is fine. I sit in the car, get someplace and do stuff and then sit in the car for a resting spell. There's lot that I can do.
If I don't get hit by a bus or stroke out or drop dead of a heart attack, it is likely that I will be able to do less and less, I will require 24/7 oxygen (which is going to make swimming tricky) but until then, I want to make sure that I don't waste any time now being bummed by the things I cannot do.