Susan Dennis (susandennis) wrote,
Susan Dennis


I don't know anyone else that has COPD so I don't have any trusted anyone with whom I can compare notes.  And, actually, from what the internets say, COPD varies widely from person to person. I keep looking, I think, half because I want validation and half because I want to make sure I am lucky enough to not have it as bad as most.  (I rarely dip my toe into Denial - I'm either all in or Ms. Skeptic.)

Today I was slapped in the face with what I cannot do.  When the panting subsides, I just feel sick.  Not quite nauseous, but not quite not.  Really just almost flu like.  Not light headed but not quite not.  Once I sit and rest, I feel better but unless my down time is 30 minutes or more, the respite is very temporary.  Today I didn't stop when I should have and learned not to do that any more.

But, now that I'm recovered. I'm so grateful that I can do what I can do.  I can swim. Thankgod.  I can live without bottled oxygen.  I can, if I plan and pace, do fine.  Running errands in the car is fine.  I sit in the car, get someplace and do stuff and then sit in the car for a resting spell.  There's lot that I can do.

If I don't get hit by a bus or stroke out or drop dead of a heart attack, it is likely that I will be able to do less and less, I will require 24/7 oxygen (which is going to make swimming tricky) but until then, I want to make sure that I don't waste any time now being bummed by the things I cannot do.  
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