May 20th, 2019

The worst telephone tree in the universe

Humana and Humana Pharmacy require you to call with even the most basic requests and then torture you to death to get to an actual fucking person which is the only way to get anything done. I may be on hold now until the day I die. There is little in my life that is more annoying. I'm trying hard to be grateful that I have insurance. I'm losing the battle.

I have now officially lost. To recap. I was sent an email requesting that I order a refill with a link to the pharmacy website. I stupidly clicked on the link thinking I'd go to the pharmacy site and see why they wanted me to refill. Instead, my click sent the refill order in. $55 worth of a medicine I do not need and will not live long enough to ever use. The only way to cancel is to call. With every call you get 10 minutes of bullshit crap and many steps to a person - btw, you can find lots of info on their website (just none that will help you) and their menu choices have changed.

I finally got a person. I had an order number. The order was 20 minutes old (that was the tree climbing time + hold time). I had to give her my name, my address, my telephone number, my insurance number, my date of birth, my name (again) and the order number (again). And then I was told that it was too late to cancel.

I fucking lost it. I verified that my now 20 minute order could not be canceled and I would, indeed, be charged $55 for a medicine I did not want and then I hung up. She called me back. I should have demanded a refill of my blood pressure medicine. She did tell me that once I received the medicine, I could call back for a "possible refund". This is for the ear drops. The first time that prescription was filled it took 2 weeks to get. I got it a week ago. A 100 day supply that will likely last me a few years. I don't need more.

So... to recap... for the pleasure (and likely shipping costs) of possibly returning what you will send me that I do not want, I can get more of your insidious phone torture that probably won't pay off either. Just a phone call away! OMG. I do not feel one bit guilty about tearing that phone person a new one. It probably was a robot anyway.

And sadly the day had started off so well. I had a great swim. I kept my back straight and it was easier so I'll keep trying. I stopped off at home, got dressed, got coffee and a burrito. And went to the Mercedes place where John met me, reviewed what I needed done - check the P303 error code, fix the mirror backing and do the annual tune up. I got a ride home immediately in a fancy new Mercedes with a really nice driver.

I was planning on making a new swim suit today or at least finishing the top I cut out a long while back. I might still but first I'm going to research insurance plans for while. I can't change til the fall but I can look.

EDIT an hour later: I just spent an hour crawling over the two other insurance options I have. My preference is to stay with my current doctors and that narrows it down to the three. And I have made decision. They all suck. Changing would suck even if I could do it which I cannot until October. Worst case, I'm out $55. Maybe I'll get a raging ear infection and use up all the medicine anyway.

OVERALL, however, I am choosing to devote not one single bit more of energy or thought to this whole thing. Lesson learned. Humana sucks. I'm over it.


Interesting ... and encouraging - more Humana

While I was on hold this morning, I sent out these two tweets.

The only telephone tree more painful and less effective than Humana Insurance is Humana Pharmacy. At least the annoying recording goes on so long, I have plenty of time to compose this bitchy tweet. #humana #humanapharmacy


I will absolutely be shopping for new insurance and new mail order pharmacy starting today. Humana and Humana Pharmacy are not worth the never ending hassle. #humana #humanapharmacy

I did not direct either tweet to the Humana twitter account on purpose. I expected to hear nothing. I was wrong.

In twitter from @humanahelp

Replying to @SusanDennis
Hello, we are sorry you feel this way. If there is a specific issue you would like for us to review, You can also contact us at

I thought about it and then sent this email:

While I seriously doubt that you can or will do anything, I was invited by @humanahelp on Twitter, to send you details. Here they are:

1. I received an email from Humana Pharmacy today saying to refill a prescription. I knew that I had no prescriptions I needed or wanted to refill and, in fact, was led to believe by the Humana Pharmacy website that I had no prescriptions eligible for refill. SO I clicked on the button to go to the website to investigate and discovered that I had. with that click, spent $55 on a prescription that Humana Pharmacy filled last week.

2. I quickly discovered that my only recourse was to call. I did so immediately. After pounding on 0, I was told to hold for a live person. I held for 20 minutes. The live person I got was difficult to understand. I gave her the order number and told her I wanted to cancel. She said she could not look anything up by order number.

3. She proceeded to ask me for my name, my address, mg phone number, my humana number, my name (again) and my phone number (again) and the order number (again). Most everything she had to have me repeat and she took extra ordinary time between each question. The enire call from start to finish was 47 minutes. Then she said that the order was being processed and it was too late to cancel.

4. She said when I received the medicine "you can call and ask about a possible return".

So... to recap. I spent $55 I'll never see again for medicine I will not be able to use before it's expiration date. And I lost a solid hour trying to fix to no avail. And the recourse is to kill another hour on the outside chance that I can send it back (and probably have to pay postage)?????

Susan Dennis

I included my details and the order number. I also noted that I did not include the phone number because I was unable to trust what I might say to any Humana person on the phone.

And within an hour I received this:

Hello Ms. Dennis,

We apologize for the length of the call, we are hiring new reps to help with the number of calls we receive.

Regarding order 241432439 this order is already with our dispensing team, so I have sent an email asking for the order to be canceled. However I am not able to guarantee they will catch it in time.

If the order does ship and you would like to return it please contact us here and we can have a pharmacist contact you and work with you on the return and the refund.

Please let us know if you have additional questions.

- Kenya

I have to say that I'm impressed. Surprised, even a little shocked, but impressed for sure. I noted same in a Twitter response. I still think I'm going to move my prescriptions, probably to Costco, but I sure do appreciate Kenya.

A day of challenges

So... after the Humana festuche of this morning, I took the car in and then came home and made a blouse. I used a favorite pattern is it's now an instant favorite shirt.

Then I picked up around the house and hand lunch and was internetting when John the car guy called. The car is now all fine and he said "Hopefully, this will be it for a long time. I hope you have a great Summer." Music to my ears. $1,137. I hope it's a long time!

Then home and the mail came. My fancy phone holder for the car finally arrived. This is a ProClip - on their website, you pick your car and then it gives you a few options for a mount. You pick the mount and are taken to a screen to buy a holder.


BUT worth it because I have tried every holder in the book. I can't do magnet, I hate the vent ones, I don't have a flat surface in the car, nor do I have a non-textured one. So I bit the bullet and ordered the holder.

1. The mount does NOT fit the car. It might fit some Smart Car but not mine.
2. The holder does not attach to the mount. The four screw holes on one, are nowhere near the four screw holes on the other.

I took photos and a video and sent an email asking for paid return shipping label and full refund. I tried calling the phone numbers on their website. One says this number is unattended (whatever that means) and the other goes to voicemail which 'has not been activated'. So... I'm not terribly hopeful. I will claim this one against my credit card if they don't pony up. But, geesh. That's $55 this morning and now $77. Plus the car... this is one expensive day.

My phone carrier is Google Fi. The service is fine. The price could be better but mainly I'm getting really twitchy about their customer service. The horror stories of how they have fucked up people's phone accounts and Google accounts abound and recourse is, apparently, very difficult to come by. So while I do not expect to have a problem, I know if one pops up, I cannot count on help and could endanger my Google account which is far more valuable to me than my phone carrier.

So, I've been cell phone plan shopping all afternoon. I think I'm going with T-Mobile's 55+ plan. It's $50 a month and unlimited and not Google. I can port my phone number back to Google Voice and use it as a passthru to any carrier number. Sadly, you can't just dial up their website and order up a sim. I have to call or go into a store. I'm done with calling. There's a store a few blocks from here. I think I may go pay them a visit tomorrow.

I've had enough drama today.

Ooops maybe not. Baseball game in 15 minutes. There will be more drama there for sure.