May 22nd, 2018

I'm slow but I get there

I got laid off from my last job 6 years ago. I really was not ready. I knew it was my last job that very day but lived in denial while I hunted around, kinda, for a new job.

Maybe it was because the decision wasn't really mine or maybe it was because I never had considered retirement or maybe it was because I really liked working, but, for whatever reasons, it took me a really really long time to get the hang of retirement.

I was really embarrassed, initially, to even admit it. When someone asked me what I did, I avoided the question. That went on for a year or more. I had trouble getting comfortable with my days. When they opened up LA Fitness in West Seattle and I could swim every single day, that helped. (Before that, I swam most days at one city pool or another but none was open for laps every single day.)

I still struggled a little with the rest of the day. Not bored at all but just not comfortable. Until this year. This year, I finally feel comfortable. I no longer worry that I'm wasting time or should be doing this or that. I have finally learned to go with the flow and just enjoy whatever is happening. Hard to believe it took me so long but at least I'm glad I got here.

I'm considering a trip over to Uwajimaya later on this morning. I need the steps and Zoey needs more pumpkin and I can get a poke bowl for lunch. Otherwise, I have lots of sewing projects - none with hard deadlines. A baseball game tonight.