October 14th, 2017

Telephones... can we just nuke 'em?

I got to the gym before it opened. The unlocked the doors about 5 minutes early so by the time I got in to the pool, I had nearly a full hour until they started the class and I had to stop. That's going to be an ok Saturday option.

After my swim, I decided to try a brunch place that has been on my list for a very long time. I keep not going because every time I look at their menu, I keep seeing kale, kale, kale, kale. I dislike kale but even more I dislike how everyone thinks it's god's answer to everything. But, this morning, I decided WTF and went anyway.

It's an easy trek from the pool and I found on street parking with no problem. I walk into the place and discover it's tiny but there's room for me. A woman hands me a menu and tells me to sit where I want and when I decide what I want to go up to the counter and order it.

Ok. So I do. At the counter, the woman takes my order and then wants money. Ok. I give her my Discover card and she whips the screen around 'just need your quick signature'. Except no... I sign and then hit submit and it wants me to add a tip. For what??? I add 0 and it submit and it will honest-to-god not let me submit until I add money for a tip for service that I have not seen any sign of yet. WTF. I added $1.00 because Fuck You was not listed as an option.

I take a deep breath, get my own coffee, and sit down. And soon enough here comes my brunch. And... OMG it was one of the best things I've tasted in I do not know how long.

Porchetta, garlic-roasted kale, slow-poached eggs with hollandaise on a buttermilk biscuit.

SOOOO delicious. Seriously I was shocked and amazed. And instantly forgave them their stupid tipping proclivities. And, at least I didn't have to wait for someone to refill my coffee cup or bring me my check. I did leave $4 under my plate. They probably wanted me to bus my table but no. I am absolutely going back. Probably tomorrow. I need to have that croque madame. And I want to try those eggs with nothing on them and that biscuit with just butter. I, officially, have a new place - just hold the fucking kale, will ya?

The remote for my adjustable bed has always been a piece of shit. It's eats batteries like dogs eat treats. And sometimes even a new battery won't fix it. Today, I get new batteries and I can tell the way they are going in that contact is not being made. No workie. So I ask the internets what to do. I find out that the remote controls on adjustable beds are the first things to break and they break often, no matter what brand. And they cost $200-300 to replace. WTF???? And my particular brand needs a serial number which I do not have and is not located in any of the places they tell me it is. And my only recourse is to call them.

So I do. And I get the world's longest most useless telephone tree ever. Spoken at the slowest speed. And I am then put on hold. With repetitive hold music complete with an annoying voice interrupting every 30 fucking seconds telling me how important my call is. For 20 minutes. Seriously, sweet, thoughtful, considerate Susan had left the goddamn building by the time Sarah got to me.

Initially, she told me there was no way she could help me without the serial number of the bed. But, finally after much frustration on both our parts, she figured it out and found a replacement and then started telling me I'd have to reprogram it. And the way she kept saying it was like this reprogramming was not possible. Finally I stopped her and asked if this reprogramming was something I could do and she said 'oh yes'. So I still don't get it. She's sending me the instructions - at least I do have her email address and don't have to call again. And she's sending the remote. $100. Fuck. Seriously.

On the up side, I spent some quality time with the report and a different set of batteries and got them in so they connected and scotched taped them down so at least I can get the bed flat again.

But, geesh. And I hate hate hate hate talking on the telephone.

I bought the bed in 2014 from a locally owned outfit that has been in business here for a long time. They have a good reputation and, in fact, when I was in there, I ran into a swim friend who has an airb&b and uses them for all her pillows/mattresses and linens and has for years. But they were a horror with me. Crappy communications, massively delayed delivery, promises made and never kept. I've always wished I'd just told them to shove it and gone to Sleep Train. But, whatevs. Maybe the new remote will be better. At least it wasn't $300.

I got a good start on my crochet sweater last night and I love it. I was able to figure out the pattern and got the first sleeve nearly finished before my arm told me to stop and rest, please. I've done little things with crochet but never a whole sweater. I'm jazzed.

I'm wearing my new gray with plaid shirt today and I love it.

Really good news this October. I've lost my love of candy corn. I still love it - the shape, the color, the silliness but I'm no longer interested in eating a bag at a time and probably won't even be looking for post Halloween sales.

The bad news is, I am now addicted to those candy corn-ish pumpkins! Seriously. I can't stop eating them. And, yes, I will be looking for them right after Halloween.