Susan Dennis (susandennis) wrote,
Susan Dennis
susandennis

So Susan, Have you lost any important friends?

Oh yeah. I am not a good friend. Virtually or IRL. I'm not sure why. I don't make friends easily and to say something always happens is to disown responsibility. I'm pretty darned sure that the fault is all mine. I'm not sure whether it's because I don't have the skills or don't have the passion to maintain friendships or maybe both. I lose LJ friends a lot and never know why. I got unfriended again this morning.

(It's really unfair to toss LJ friends into the mix as it is a very different dynamic for the most part and I enjoy the come-and-go - ness of it. But, since most people these days lock their journals down, unfriending means I am locked out of reading and that's a big bummer. Consequences of not being a good enough friend!)

In college, I met Heather along about my freshman year. We bonded like super glue immediately. We were instant and truly best friends. She knew my family, I knew hers. She lived in West Virginia and I lived in North Carolina. She moved to Kentucky and I moved to Connecticut. She went to Tuscon and I went to Seattle. All along the way we were besties. For a quarter of a century. And then not.

Family differences really did most of the prying loose. She had a daughter who was a really intolerable toddler. I had my reasons for not being close to my family and she did not approve one tiny bit. Mainly I think our very different lives, coated with layers of complicated geography just wore the friendship out.

I have not talked to her in a couple of decades. I assume she's still in Arizona and still married to the same guy and that the toddler is now a grownup but they are all assumptions. I have no facts at all. Clearly she has very little online presence - probably all on facebook. I can find clues but that's it. I wonder what she's up to and how are her mother and father and little sister and brother. (Her sister once came to visit Seattle years and years ago and called me when she got here to ask where Kurt Cobain's grave was - he had died earlier that year. I had no idea who he was or where he was buried. Alison was less than impressed.)

I'm not sure there are even enough threads or interest to do any reparation work on the friendship but I really do regret that I let that one go.
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