Susan Dennis (susandennis) wrote,
Susan Dennis
susandennis

Continued - Answers

pinmedown asked me two great questions in comments to my last Continued post. They were such good questions that I had to give them more thought than usual and thought I'd just answer in a separate entry.


I know you certainly don't dwell on them, but do you have regrets?


I do. I do have regrets. I have big ones and little ones.

The big over arching one is that I wish had been and was now a nicer person. I'm just not. I can be mean but that's really not even the issue, the issue is that I'm just not nice. I'm not kind, I'm considerate but I'm just not nice to people and I wish I were different. It has always seemed like a simple and easy thing to do until I can't and don't. I've never figured out the key and I do regret that.

I do wish I hadn't wasted my time in school. I wish I had taken the whole opportunity more seriously. I am smart and if I had used those smarts productively when I had people right there to teach me, I'd be way smart now. It seems like such a waste that I didn't.

And the rest are just little regrets. Like I regret purchases I made or places I didn't go. Inconsequential stuff. Oh and my not going to the dentist regularly.

And you are right. I do not dwell. I learned long ago that wallowing in regret served zero purpose. It didn't promote corrective behavior and just made me miserable. If possible, find some good in the bad and even if not, just move on. There are more mistakes to make just around the corner!


Who taught you about saving money etc?

I think it was a combo...

When I was first starting out, my Dad sat me down and showed me how and why to think about fixed expenses like rent and electricity as opposed to discretionary expenses like groceries and shoes and why it mattered and a little about how to budget. At the time I did not pay nearly enough attention to what he was saying but I did manage to get something out of it.

Somewhere, I read or heard or somehow learned from somewhere (specific enough there on the source??_ that small savings are worth the effort. It may seem like a ridiculous effort to wait until meat is on sale or go out of your way to the cheaper gas station, but if you make it a habit, it does mount up. Even all the little bits. Now, having said that, I've never been a big coupon clipper so there are limits :)

And then many (like 30) years after my father's lesson, my financial adviser told me to just save something. Put something aside out of every paycheck. Put it somewhere you can't get to it. Even if it's only $20. I thought this was too little, and kind of a silly idea but he was kind of intimidating and I didn't have a good reason not to so I did. And, what I learned was that 1. I did not miss the money I put aside and 2. I loved seeing the pot of $$ grow. And I was hooked on the idea. I gradually started growing the amount and then adding other $ in and pretty soon, I was a real, honest to god saver.
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